I'm hard at work revising book seven in the Melvin Beederman series, The Brotherhood of the Traveling Underpants.  This is my second-favorite title in the series so far, behind The Curse of the Bologna Sandwich.  The book won't be out until 2009 and the illustrations aren't due until this summer, which gives you an idea of how long it takes to produce one of these books.  My editor gives me little line edits here and there, places where I can cut something or rephrase to make it smoother.  These are easy to deal with.  The tough spots are where it involves changing the character.  This is where I really need to put on my thinking cap and dive into the story.  It ain't easy, but do you know what helps?  Chocolate.

That's my recommendation for the day.  If you're digging into some serious revision, throw chocolate into the mix and see if that helps.  Greg 

Mark Twain once stated that he could go for two months on a good compliment.  The reason I bring this up is that last week at the week-long Author-Go-Round in Santa Barbara, one of the other presenters told me that she and the other two authors agreed that I was The Bob Newhart of Children's Literature.  I'm not sure what she meant by this...maybe it's because my humor and delivery is so understated.  In any case, I'm taking it as a compliment.  I'll let you know if I can go two months on it.  Greg

It seems my fifteen-year-old daughter is hooked on American's Next Top Model.  I'm not sure how I feel about this, since she used to be hooked on phonics.  I mean, if I had to choose, I'd prefer she be hooked on something to do with the English language than on a bunch of anorexic women.  I'm funny that way.  But as long as we're on the topic of reality television, have you noticed that there are shows for singing (American Idol), dancing (Dancing With The Stars), looking good and posing (America's Next Top Model), but nothing about writing.

Here's what I propose...we should have a program called American Author.  Contestants in the early stages would submit a first page, then, as they are weeded out, they present longer works.  There would have to be a designated reader, otherwise it would be a competition on presentation skills, not writing.  The panel of judges would consist of authors with some degree of fame, such as Steven King, Richard Peck, Toni Morrison, etc.  Anyway, that's my idea.  We need a writer reality show.  Greg

Okay, let me just say from the beginning that I'm a manly guy.  I fish, I smoke cigars, I burp in public...yes, ladies and gentlemen—manly.  But I also like many movies known as Chick Flicks, which is why I'm pushing to renaming the genre.  No doubt there are crappy Chick Flicks out there, but the great ones are not Chick Flicks at all.  They are just great movies.  Great acting and great storytelling, and this is where the writing comes in.  Someone produces a movie which involves human relationships and great dialogue and they label that feminine?  No way, baby.  Any man with a brain would see it for what it really is—quality film making.  Conversely, there's nothing worse than a movie filled with mindless action and special effects, what most people would call a Dude Flick.  Just as in Chick Flicks, there a good Dude Flicks and bad ones.  The good ones focus on the human story and use special effects to enhance, not to overwelm.

With all that said, I think we should rename the genre from Chick Flicks to Chick/Manly Flicks.  Because we smart, manly men know quality when we see it.  Here are a few great Chick/Manly movies, and remember, it all begins with great writing.

Spanglish

When Harry Met Sally

Serendipity

Sleepless in Seattle

While You Were Sleeping

Moulin Rouge 

Here are some of my favorite movie lines.  Hats off to the screenwriters who came up with them.

1 "I'll have what she's having." (When Harry Met Sally)

2 "Since I'm only waiting around to kill you, I don't think you will accept my help."

"That does put a damper on our relationship." (The Princess Bride)

3 "You made a woman meow?" (When Harry Met Sally)

4  "How do you write women so well?"

"I think of a man, then take away reason and accountability" (As Good As It Gets)

5. "Ray, when someone asks 'Are you a god?' you say yes!" (Ghostbusters)

6. "I've seen worse." (Billy Chrystal examining dead man in The Princess Bride)

7. "It smelled like the number on the door." (Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid)

8. "Missed it by that much." (Get Smart - TV)

9. "I'm not bad; I'm just drawn that way." (Roger Rabbit)

10. "They hate this." (Bill Murray hitting the high notes on the piano in Ghostbusters)

Okay, that's my list.  Feel free to share your faves.  Greg