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This just in from alert reader Juanita Trine from her Good Clean Funnies List. I'm not sure who the originator is, but this is pretty hilarious. Enjoy...Greg
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter
festival, my significant other in a consenting adult,
monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual
drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made
up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union
as called for in their union contract even though they will
not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected
wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human
animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
domestic incarceration,
(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front
threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling
birds, French hens, and partridge have been reintroduced to
their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American
enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
carcasses, and
ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
Merry Christmas.
Happy Chanukah/Hanukkah.
Good Kwanzaa.
Blessed Yule.
Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!! (unless otherwise prohibited by
law)
Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally
Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please
substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a
suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.
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